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Service – slow and forgetful – two bottle of water took 2 different waiters and 15 minutes. I wasn't sure if the servers either did noth ave a great command of English or were just mentally challenged.

Food – Our first order of starters – wanton and hiot and sour soup came less than one minute after we ordered. I am not a wanton fan so will not comment on those, but the hot and sour soup was ok. Hard to go wrong with that though.

My main course of sizzling shrimp and scallops came 5 minutes after the starters. Clearly reheated – probably leftovers from other customers.

I spent the night with agonising stomach cramps and for want of a better phrase horrendous bowel movements. I am writing a letter of complaint to the 'restaurant' as we speak.

Other things to note – had to ask for napkins (which by the way were bad quality paper more suited to children's birthday parties) and they seemed to have difficulty with the concept of politeness when dealing with the bill at the end. I.e. they seemed in an extraordinary rush to grab, yes grab the money from the table even when it was clear we were still discussing amongst ourselves who should pay what.

Overall an unimaginably bad experience.